back to black

I've been gone for a bit, again (ugh), I know. In the past year I've had ups and downs that seem like itty-bitty roller coasters compared to those I experienced in high school. What might be saving me now is how little time I suddenly have to dwell on my problems. My job, preparing my university portfolios and (slightly obsessively) hitting the exercise grind have left me with little time for the things I used to love - like lying around and moping or burying my feelings in hours of television.

However busy I am, autumn is unavoidably a time of reflection for me. I used to wear all black everything. My grade 10 back-to-school closet was filled with black t shirts, denim, blazers, skirts and socks. I wasn’t rocking all black in a sort of rebellious teenage way, think 30 year old Parisienne business woman instead. 

It got to a point where for some reason people where bothered by it. I often got comments on how it made me look and something misguided about how I should enjoy colours and patterns while I was young enough to pull them off. I didn’t really change because their opinions bothered me but because I saw it as a challenge. Buying the colourful or printed version of everything rather than go straight for black and find the quirkiest patterns and pile them on more patterns became the new way of life - my style evolved quickly and all monochrome shades disappeared from my wardrobe.

Fast forward two years and into an ongoing end-of-teen life crisis, I was feeling like I’d lost something in the search for “me”  that I had actually really liked. So it hit me a few weeks ago that this was one thing I really missed and that I was in dire need of – looking more mature, being taken more seriously - which black clothes really can help you achieve if worn correctly. 

Of course, you may argue that all black can get boring but I am not swearing off all colours and patterns entirely. I am however going to try and choose black more often and try to find creative ways to wear it: unique cuts and fabrics, layering and textures can turn the misunderstood "boring" shade into a statement. 

★~(◡‿⊙✿) SUM INSPIRATION 4 U!!! ★~(◡‿⊙✿)

Embrace your dark side/any feature you miss about one of your previous personas - the point is to take something old and turn it new again. Step back into your comfort zone and find ways to test your creativity from within there. Maybe a bit of thinking inside the box - but customizing the shit out of that box until there isn't an empty space left in it. 

We all know inner beauty is what counts the most so with the beginning of the new school and work year, I invite you to take that step back and examine that the past, present and future of your comfort zone. Reflect on the things you've loved and lost - from minor things like items or trends to the big deals like characteristics, people, environments. Think about what losses you gained from and what you're still trying to undo. It could be as simple as reintroducing a colour to your wardrobe or as major as calling a long lost friend.  

sigh, it's good to be back and to get all this off my chest - happy soul searching (or not, whatevur) fellow bloggers! xo Becca

p.s. some *rare* m00dy photos of grade 10 Rebecca

What phases of your life are you missing? What are you glad you've gotten over?